Frustration in relationship is common. Sometimes it becomes more obvious and open while in other cases it stays below the blanket for the whole life. Some complain and others suffer. Broken heart, bleeding heart, feeling of being used and cheated. Tears and tears and some more tears, seen and unseen. Heard or unheard cry.
The Special Other does not love the same way I do. I love and care more and he (I am using he and she interchangeably) is not responsive. She does not love anymore like she use to do before.It ends up as a formal, charmless relationship or a breakup.The end of a Love affair. Honeymoon is over.
Lucky are those who can love. If you are being loved back it is your bonus. It may happen, if it does, it is your extra bonus, but If you are not being loved reciprocally, it is not your loss. Well, you will say it is funny. How can I love someone and not expect him/her to love me back? Because love is not a business. In love, one only gives. If you expect because you have given, then there is no difference between love and business. In business give and take is the rule. In love affairs, giving is the only rule. You can love only if you are full of love. It is impossible for an empty person to love. You can only give what you have.
Sometimes we love someone because we want to be loved. The other person is also doing the same. It is kind of a bait to get the fish. In the beginning one can act for a while till he gets love back but it cannot continue for longer. The day he stops pretending that he loves, the love affair ends. That day,officially honeymoon is over.
Expect and frustration begins. If you don’t expect then you are at peace. Keep loving without expectation. The idea of expectation has gone so far that it has gone into our blood and bones. We think that it is our right to expect from “the other” to behave in certain way or to love us back. What we are saying is that I love you so now you have to change the way you are. You have to love me back even if there is no love in there.
Love is highest of all feeling in the world. It can flower only in the space of freedom. If love affair is a bondage then it will die sooner or later. I Love you the way you are. There cannot be reason behind love. If there is any reason for loving then the love is towards the reason and not towards the person. I love you because you are beautiful, what will happen when beauty is gone ? I love you because you are intelligent. What will happen to my love the day I find more intelligent person than you ? If there is reason than there is no love. Love happens without reason.
Expectation and frustration are two sides of the same coin. Let the other live the way he/she is. Do not interfere. If the other is adjusting and changing for your love, it is because of his/her compassion towards you. But do not think it is your right.
Let the love grow in the space of freedom. You will see how it flows abundantly.