I love you, do you love me?

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Frustration in relationship is common. Sometimes it becomes more obvious and open while in other cases it stays below the blanket for the whole life. Some complain and others suffer. Broken heart, bleeding heart, feeling of  being used and cheated. Tears and tears and some more tears, seen and unseen. Heard or unheard cry.

The Special Other does not love the same way I do. I love and care more and he (I am using he and she interchangeably) is not responsive.  She does not love anymore like she use to do before.It ends up as a formal, charmless relationship or a breakup.The end of a Love affair. Honeymoon is over.

Lucky are those who can love. If you are being loved back it is your bonus. It may happen, if it does, it is your extra bonus, but If you are not being loved reciprocally, it is  not your loss. Well, you will say it is funny. How can I love someone and not expect him/her to love me back? Because love is not a business. In love, one only gives. If you expect because you have given, then there is no difference between love and business. In business give and take is the rule. In love affairs, giving is the only rule. You can love only if you are full of love. It is impossible for an empty person to love. You can only give what you have.

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Sometimes we love someone because we want to be loved. The other person is  also doing the same. It is kind of a bait to get the fish. In the beginning one can act for a while till he gets love back but it cannot continue for longer. The day he stops pretending that he loves, the love affair ends. That day,officially honeymoon is over.

Expect and frustration begins. If you don’t expect then you are at peace. Keep loving without expectation. The idea of expectation has  gone so far that it has gone into our blood and bones. We think that it is our right to expect from “the other” to behave in certain way or to love us back. What we are saying is that I love you so now you have to change the way you are. You have to love me back even if there is no love in there.

Love is highest of all feeling in the world. It can flower only in the space of  freedom. If love affair is a bondage then it will die sooner or later. I Love you the way you are. There cannot be reason behind love. If there is any reason for loving then the love is towards the reason and not towards the person. I love you because you are beautiful, what will happen when beauty is gone ? I love you because you are intelligent. What will happen to my love the day I find more intelligent person than you ? If there is reason than there is no love. Love happens without reason.

Expectation and frustration are two sides of the same coin. Let the other live the way he/she is. Do not interfere. If the other is adjusting and changing for your love, it is because of his/her compassion towards you. But do not think it is your right.

Let the love grow in the space  of freedom. You will see how it flows abundantly.

AH.

 

The equation

Inside of me, you are out, I am in

Inside of you, You are in, I am Out

Am I in or out ?

So if we add outside with outside and inside with inside

Everyone is either outside or everyone is inside

Inside is not inside without outside

Outside is not outside without inside

So If inside and outside are the same thing

Are we all One ?

A small note to all women out there

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You should celebrate today.

You can dance you can sing. You take all sorrow of others and your own and make it go  away like  magic.

You can cry and you can laugh. Although sorrow drips through corner of your eyes.

You have heart full of love. Real love. A four  letter word with which universe is made up of.

Your smile can light up anything. Your tinkling eyes can brighten up everything.

You are so caring. You are so loving.You are gorgeous. You are gracious. You are beautiful.

You are full of energy. Your will can move mountains.

You are softer than feather and tougher than steel.

You can feel. You live with emotions. You can forgive. You never forget.

You have patience. You can wait till eternity.

You can impress. You can express. You are deeper than ocean and higher than sky.

You are a mystery.

You love. You lose. You still love.

You are God’s supreme creation. You too create. You give birth.

You are a woman.

You should celebrate today.

 

 

Door without walls ?

Yes that is what we do  everyday. We keep securing  our  doors with nice and strong locks. But where are walls ? We live in  a place where there is big  door which is locked by a strong lock but there are no walls around. We are afraid of uncertainty and hence we keep locking our doors. Whatever we do but life cannot be secure. Life means flying in unknown territory. Life is always uncertain. Only dead can be secure and certain. Security can give us more years to life but accepting insecurity will give  us more life to our years.

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We go to work everyday even if we hate our job. We keep moving around with same friends even if relations are already dead. Why? Because we do not want to take risk in finding new friends.It is not future we are afraid of, it is possible worst outcome we are afraid of.  We stay with our fear of not speaking in public. we stop ourselves from writing, painting, dancing or singing. Why? Because we fear of losing our worth in someone’s eyes. We pretend to be happy so that we do  not  have to  take risk of losing our image.

Let us just examine if we are really  secure and risk free? In spite of taking so much of care are we really secure? No, we are not. What is under our control anyway ? Is our Job/business secure? Is there anyway to have secure relationship forever? Is there anyway to keep our image intact in  eyes of world around us? Nothing is risk free. Everything is uncertain.

So let us accept uncertainty as way of life. Instead of running away from uncertainty let us embrace it and make it part of our life. Most of our anxiety will go away if we know that nothing is certain  in life. We will live our life instead of waiting to live one day when things will be secure and certain.  Embrace change in our life. Develop confidence on yourself. When you think through any scenario you feel is very fearful, most of the time it is not as bad as you think. Develop skill sets so that it can be helpful in your bad time.

I insist you to go for change, get out of your comfort zone and live your life at fullest.

 Feel the fear and do it anyway !!