Since last few years, I rarely get angry.(I still get angry some time, so watch out). I use to be very short tempered. It could be kids or a small argument over politics, anything could trigger anger in me.
Few things to be understood. (huh ! now I am talking like a swami )
- Whenever our wish is not fulfilled or our expression for something is suppressed, the energy which was about to be released slips in subconscious mind.
- This unexpressed energy is flowing inside us waiting to be released.
- Triggers are irrelevant. As soon as the situation seems less risky, suppressed energy comes out in a negative way.( Why negative? because, Ego was hurt when energy was suppressed at the first place, so now ego is waiting to take revenge) Kids, wives, subordinates, neighbors (of course weak ones) are the targets.
- We think that we get angry once in a while hence we are not angry personality. That’s not true. Anger is flowing in us all the time, its just it expresses itself once in a while.
- You gave an opinion but your boss rejected it. You wanted to slap your boss (of course you imagined it). Now this unexpressed but aroused energy will hide itself inside you.
So what do we do ? Shall we slap the boss ? (Please never try this)
Controlled anger is even more dangerous. It creates a vicious circle.
Few things has worked for me :
- Do not suppress the energy : Allow it to be expressed. So shall we slap the boss ? Of course not. There are different ways to express it. We can tighten our fist, energy will be released. We can hit the pillow when we reach home. we can dance (of course not in front of boss although it is not a bad idea). we can do painting, drawing, singing ,jogging or anything which allows us to express our energy.
- Watch yourself : Now this is magic. Whenever you feel that you are about to be angry, be aware. Its hard in the beginning. When anger comes, it takes over. Normally it shoots out like a bullet. We are not conscious enough to watch. ( later on we always repent ) but with little practice it is possible. What will happen when you watch yourself ? Lets understand this. Anger takes us over most when we are unconscious. When we are least aware of ourselves. When we are too busy thinking. So when you watch yourself you will understand the situation. You will be in present moment. This awareness will not allow you to spit your anger on anyone or anything. So more aware you are less angry you will be. When you gave an opinion to your boss and when he rejected it, you became aware. you started seeing anger arising, as soon as you saw it, it will disappear. Why ? Because you will realize that (you can realize anything only when you are mindful or watchful) boss may be right.
Slowly there will be no accumulation of suppressed energy.
When there is no anger, you are at peace, silent, radiant and creative. You can see things as it is without prejudice.