Yes, and not may be

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Life is a summation of all our experiences.  It is only experiences of life which prove that we are alive. More we experience, an intense life we live.

Experiences can be of any type. Cold – hot, bad – good, bitter – sweet, safe – uncertain, thrilling – scary. All kinds of experience add life to our life. It makes us more  mature.

We want to avoid bad or scary experiences. We are afraid of failing. Hence, we just say NO to changes in our life. We feel safe and protected in our comfort zone.  Days in and days out life becomes routine. Life seems boring. No change means no experience.

Today I want to tell you to say YES to life. Say YES to change. When you have the option to choose between routine versus change, I insist on choosing change. When you feel dilemma between GO or Stay. Choose GO.

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Even if you fail by choosing to GO, It is better than staying and not experiencing anything.

We are bombarded with many pieces of advice (including these ones) in today’s world. Many rules, many imaginary boundaries, and many limits are built around us. I want to tell you to look beyond boundaries and limits. Rich are those who are rich in their experiences and poor are those who are afraid to experiences, good or bad.

Say YES and  not may be. Don’t be afraid of change.

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Go out and embrace the change. Talk to boss about raise, change job if you are stuck, join health club, talk to strangers, create new habits, be determined to leave bad habits, speak in public, draw (even if you are ugly at it), dance , sing (alone if it is really pathetic, although nothing wrong in teasing people), if nothing else at least change your route to your work.

Dont blame the circumstances

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Take full responsibility of your life. (don’t be shocked, I am not saying to take responsibility of other’s life). Are you over weight? Are you struggling to make money ? Are you bad in communication ? Are you struggling in your relationship ? Are you hating your job ? Start taking responsibility. What will happen ? By admitting that you are responsible for your circumstance you are taking charge of it. Now you are the pilot of your life.

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Its very easy to blame the circumstance and escape from your responsibility. You can say what can I do my parents are obese so may be it is in my genes to be overweight. Very convenient. By thinking like this who is going to lose ? Who is going to suffer from all diseases ? Obviously you. Why not scrap such belief and start working out ? why not learn about healthy eating ? Why not take responsibility and move yourself a little bit more ?

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Struggling to make money ? you would say I did not studied well, I had responsibility of my family at very early age or I tried my best but economy is down what can I do ? Well, here is the key. Take responsibility. There can be many reasons. You don’t have enough desire to make money or you believe that you can not make more money. You are blaming circumstances for your life. Just look around and you will find plenty of examples of uneducated, raised in poor family, people with very limited IQ are making millions.

As you are now taking responsibility of your life you can now take credit for all your achievements too.  It has to be in both way. Are you making good money ? Are you healthy ? Are you keeping your relationship very fresh ? Take credit of it. Be proud of it.

Don’t underestimate your strength. Difference between you  and your dream is only your mindset. Your belief.

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Go out and get it. Its all yours.

What happened to my anger ?

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Since last few years, I rarely get angry.(I still get angry some time, so watch out). I use to be very short tempered. It could be kids or a small argument over politics, anything could trigger anger in me.

Few things to be understood. (huh ! now I am talking like a swami )

  1. Whenever our wish is not fulfilled or our expression for something is suppressed, the energy which was about to be released slips in subconscious mind.
  2. This unexpressed energy is flowing inside us  waiting to be released.
  3. Triggers are irrelevant. As soon as the situation seems less risky, suppressed energy comes out in a negative way.( Why negative? because, Ego was hurt when energy was suppressed at the first place, so now  ego is waiting to take revenge) Kids, wives, subordinates, neighbors (of course weak ones) are the targets.
  4. We think that we get angry once in a while hence we are not angry personality. That’s not true. Anger is flowing in us all the time, its just it expresses itself once in a while.
  5. You gave an opinion but  your boss rejected it. You wanted to slap your boss (of course you imagined it). Now this unexpressed but aroused energy will hide itself inside you.

So what do we do ? Shall we slap the boss ? (Please never try this)

Controlled anger is even more dangerous. It creates a vicious circle.

Few things has worked for me :

  1. Do not suppress the energy : Allow it  to be expressed. So shall we slap the boss ? Of course not. There are different ways to express it. We can tighten our fist, energy will be released. We can hit the pillow when we reach home. we can dance (of course not in front of boss although it is not a bad idea). we can do painting, drawing, singing ,jogging or anything which allows us to express our energy.
  2. Watch yourself  : Now this is magic. Whenever you feel that you are about to be angry, be aware. Its hard in the beginning. When anger comes, it takes over. Normally it shoots out like a bullet. We are not conscious enough to watch. ( later on we always repent ) but with little practice it is possible. What will happen when you watch yourself ? Lets understand this. Anger takes us over most when we are  unconscious. When we are least aware of ourselves. When we are too busy thinking. So when you watch yourself you will understand the situation. You will be in present moment. This awareness will not allow you to spit your anger on anyone or anything. So more aware you are less angry you will be. When you gave an opinion to your boss and when he rejected it, you became aware. you  started seeing anger arising, as soon as you saw it, it will disappear. Why ? Because you will realize that (you can realize anything only when you are mindful or watchful) boss may be right.

Slowly there will be no accumulation of suppressed energy.

When there is no anger, you are at peace, silent, radiant and creative. You can see things as it is without prejudice.

 

 

 

 

Slow dance

This poem is originally written by child psychologist  David L. Weatherford

(This poem is for all of us who is life deferrer. Who wants to live life some day and not today and not now.)

Have you ever watched kids

on a  merry-go-round ?

 

Or listen to the rain

Slapping on the ground ?

 

Ever followed  a butterfly’s  erratic flight?

or gazed at the sun  into  the fading night?

 

You better slow down.

Don’t  dance so fast.

 

Time is short.

The music won’t last.

 

Do you run through each day

On the fly ?

 

When you ask :How are you?

Do you hear the reply ?

 

When the day is done,

do you lie in your bed ?

 

With the next  hundreds chores 

Running  through your head ?

 

You’d better slow down.

Don’t dance so fast.

 

Time is short.

The music won’t last.

 

Ever told your child .

We’ll do it tomorrow ?

 

And  in your haste

Not see his sorrow ?

 

Ever lost touch,

Let the good friendship die ?

 

Cause you never had time

To call  and say  “Hi” ?

 

You’d better slow down.

Don’t dance so fast.

 

Time is short.

The music won’t last.

 

When you run so fast to get  somewhere

You miss half the fun  of getting there.

 

When you worry and hurry  through  you day,

It is like an unopened gift thrown away.

 

Life is not a race.

Do take it slower.

 

Hear the music.

Before the song is over.

7 new habits !

Since few weeks I am addicted to reading. Well, I have habit of reading since childhood but these  time it is in a new direction. This reading is bringing changes in me. 

  1. I have been thinking to write since many years. I have started writing a blog regularly, since last 6 weeks.
  2. I have been thinking to meditate since ages. I have started meditating(literally) since last 4 weeks.
  3. I have enrolled in a Sea change program run by Leo for creating new and self fulfilling habits every month. Month of April was for Meditation. Month of May is to create habit of Self compassion.
  4. I joined gym and regularly visiting it. ( I have done this in past, just to feel guilty of paying money and not utilizing it)
  5. Being efficient at work. I now trust people. Delegation of work is now new mantra.
  6. I am fascinated by a new idea of “ The 4-hour week work :escape the 9-5, live anywhere and join the new rich”  (reading a book by Tim Ferriss ). I am determined to implement it.
  7. I have this deep urge to learn  an art (to move little bit away from numbers and bottom lines). Hence took drawing pencils and few blank  papers. Literally started to learn painting.

Most of the credit goes to Leo Babauta (www.zenhabits.net)

Few principles learned :

  1. Simplicity
  2. Efficiency
  3. Let go
  4. Slow is better
  5. Mindfulness

Have you created any habit recently ? How is it going ? Please feel free to write your views.